Newsletter 11/10

November 2010

As I mentioned in my October Newsletter, the paperback edition of was to be published on November 1 and it was, and it’s doing very well, thanks to you. And thanks to me, too, for writing such a great book.

Did you know that November 1 was National Author’s Day? Neither did I until I got an email from my sister-in-law that day wishing me a happy Author’s Day. That was news to me, and I wondered why Author’s Day should coincide with All Saints Day. Maybe Congress was making a joke when they passed the resolution. I mean, I don’t mind sharing the day with all the saints, but what do the saints think about sharing their day with authors?

November 11 was Veteran’s Day and as I do every year, I got together with a group of Vietnam veterans to have dinner and reminisce and to thank God or Fate for our safe return. We toasted all the men and women who’ve served, and those who have given their lives for their country.

While we were waiting for our table, I saw on the TV screen above the bar a picture of Dino De Laurentiis, the movie producer and an old friend of mine, and I realized the news story was about his death. He was 91 and lived a full and interesting life and had a wonderful wife, Martha, and two great daughters, Dina and Carolyna. Dino, rest in peace, my friend.

On to happier news. As it turns out, the world is not going to end on December 21, 2012. New research has found that there was an error in the conversion of the Mayan to the modern calendar, and the “End of Days” predicted in the Mayan calendar may be 50 or 100 years later. This is a true news story and you may have seen it. I mean, this is like your doctor telling you, “Sorry, I mixed up the x-rays and blood tests. You’re not going to die.” Meanwhile, you’ve divorced your spouse, quit your job, and told your family what you really thought of them. Ooops.

Anyway, I’ll keep on this breaking story. Maybe the researchers are wrong and the world will end on December 21, 2012. But don’t do anything crazy until we know for sure.

Also in my last Newsletter, I described the Beanie Book Blaster that will shoot my books directly into your brain with a pulsating laser beam. Archived October Newsletter. The problem was that there was no way to recover the memory of the books. I mean, they’re all in there, floating around the icky, gray, spongy brain tissue, but how do you recall, for instance, The General’s Daughter? Or the sex scenes in The Gate House?

Well, there’s been a breakthrough. (True news item. Check it out) A top scientist, Raymond Kurzweil, is working on a way to download the entire contents of your brain onto disk drives. That’s right. Through the use of “nano-bots,” brain-downloading will soon be possible. Some people, of course, may need fewer disks, like my cousin in California, or book critics, but this technology will allow you to hear the entire content of your brain on your iPod. Maybe even read it on your iPad, Kindle, or Nook. More on this as it develops. Meanwhile, go buy a paperback copy of The Gate House.

As I mentioned in my last Newsletter, if you live in the U.K., Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, or any other English speaking country, The Lion was published there on November 4. And I just found out that The Lion has hit the bestseller lists in Australia and New Zealand, and I thank my fans there for that. Also, sorry I made fun of the Aussies in my September and October Newsletters. I take it all back. Love you.

In closing, I want to wish everyone (in the U.S.) a Happy Thanksgiving, and also a belated Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends and family. Sorry I missed mentioning your Thanksgiving on October 11, but it was also Columbus Day here, and I can’t think of two holidays at the same time. And why, by the way, do you Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving on a Monday in October? I guess the weather in November sucks up there. Right? So, what do you eat on Thanksgiving? Moose? Just kidding. Hey, I’m half Canadian so I can make a few jokes. Go buy a copy of The Lion or The Gate House to show me you’re not mad. Just like the Aussies did. Love you all.

Anyway, we all have a lot to be thankful for, except I don’t like turkey, and cranberry sauce looks like a quivering red brain, but everything goes good with a few Bourbon Manhattans, so have a happy, healthy and safe Thanksgiving.

 

Sincerely,